"ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; I hate a group of people with a common purpose. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; The planet is fine. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. " George Carlin "Forget the politicians. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. }, To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. And fight songs. Lists. Its because volunteers work for no pay. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } George Carlin "The planet is fine. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. return null; try { stylesheet.href = url; - George Carlin profile quotes. You have owners. Dont look for it. We havent tried that for a while. } As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. Authors. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. 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Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Everybodys going to save something now. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. return cookiePair[1]; Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. I have certain rules I live by. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. > Quotable Quote. Tax them. George Carlin. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Its never going to get any better. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); Right in the f--in head! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin. American We think in language. Theres a humorous side to every situation. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. _Q: [] If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. 5. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Its interested in its own power. window.Mobvious = {}; " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Theres no present. if(cookiePair[0] === name) { Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. In America, anyone can become president. Because theres no money in that problem. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . You have no choice. var url; When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. 3140. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. George Carlin. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. function q(c, r) { My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Required fields are marked *. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. })(); If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? Pictures. Electricity is really just organized lightning. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. init: function() { You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. A = p.createElement(s); Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. }); Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Property is theft. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; 3. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. q("i", arguments) }); Try spelling Evian backward. Its so f***ing heroic. }); Hes not a cheese. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. This is what we have to offer. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. var cookie = cookies[i]; The challenge is to find it. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. born on May 12, 1937, var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; Are these people kidding? window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. George Carlin They own, and control the corporations. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Teach them to question everything. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. } else { I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Manage Settings a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) } Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. // page settings I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Theres no present. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Government is an important institution. //]]> //
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